A local artist and death doula Corey Matthews (Hardeman) is set to co-host the first online Death Cafe in Prince George this weekend. The event is intended to be an open forum for discussion around the topic and experience of end of life. Matthews says her goals are for attendees to “form connections, feel a sense of community, [and] feel that they’re not alone with their questions or their fears."

Matthews extensive personal experience with death in her own life brought to light how fearful society is of the topic. Now a trained death doula, she is facilitating conversations that may not otherwise happen.

“We’re really fundamentally a death-phobic society… it’s a subject that we avoid at all costs. Even in situations when someone is dying, a lot of the time, death isn’t directly approached,” says Matthews, adding that this can lead to confusion over course of care, end of life plans, and after life celebrations. 

Both the topic and the process of dying are obscured by secrecy and silence. As Matthews points out, “we don’t get to be in the room very often when people die." This is particularly true right now as COVID-19 limits hospital, hospice and long-term care home visits. The institutionalization of death also means that the moment of transition rarely occurs in the home anymore. As a result, misconceptions about what death looks like abound. 

Death doulas seek to help those confronted with the stark realities with little to no practice in handling death. Quoting one of her instructors, Matthews explains, “a death doula is like water. You just run to whatever the low part is, whatever needs doing." The Death Cafe model emulates this fluidity as well, forming to the needs of the participants in a particular gathering. Conversations had at the Death Cafe can help participants gain a fuller picture of their life through understanding the “beginning and end."

Find out more about Corey Hardeman, Death Doula.

Register to attend the Death Cafe on Eventbrite.

To find out more about Corey's art, visit coreyhardeman.ca/.

Listen to the interview on CFUR-FM: